Helping Children Discover Their Own Identity

      Children of today's advanced world are different from those in the past. With easy access to modern technology, children of today are able to learn everything they encounter in their life, including world- class information. In terms of knowledge of the world, one must admit, they seem to surpass children brought up in the era when technological equipment was still traditional.

     The rapid growth of children's cognitive, physical and social adaptations is an indication of how they can be easily shaped by the modern vicinity. This is a critical period when children are beginning to try to discover their own true identity.

      Parental guidance is necessary to assist them in leading to the correct path. To do this, intervention, however, is not always mandatory if parents are upbeat that their offspring can handle the conundrum they are facing on their own. Self-reliance, in any occasion, needs to be stressed.

      What parents need to do is to respect the changes going on within their child's world, and respond appropriately to their changing needs. Here a close monitoring rather than control taking is essential.

       This may sound like ideal advice; yet not all parents may agree with this. A parent who was raised in a democratic family atmosphere will certainly pass down the freedom he/she had enjoyed during childhood to his/her offspring. On the other hand, those who were brought up in a conservative and authoritative family will inculcate traditional values to their children, restricting them by tightly abiding to what the parents believe to be the correct norms.

       Clearly, a parent's family back-ground will, exert a considerable influence in helping his/her children to learn both formally and informally. It is more likely that parents will consistently follow the mind-set they adopted from their father or mother if they think that it is beneficial. Today's parents, however, need to be aware that not all values and norms that their parents implanted in them during their childhood are compatible with modern reality. Things have changed considerably, and parents should take this into account.

     It might, for example, be felt less relevant to impose traditional control over their children's conduct about what they need to do to attain academic achievement. However, most parents still cling to this, acting as if they are omniscient and know perfectly what is best for their children.

     In guiding children in search of true identity, it is important for today's parents to listen and accommodate all feedback from their children. Though it seems too difficult for some conservative parents to implement this, it is essential to a child's development into an emo- tionally mature adult.

     Parents also should not exercise too much authority so as to overprotect their children to develop their potential to the fullest. Parental intervention, if it is done in an improper manner, can do more harm than good.

     If not in accord with children's interests, parents' excessive intervention is seen by children as something that inhibits rather than facilitates their academic excursions. Parents may probably not realize that their children simply want them to stay in the background and to provide whatever support and resources they need to venture out into the world.

      This does not imply that intervention is not necessary. At the very young age when the influence of a peer group is extremely powerful, parents need to intervene by setting a strong measure to help their children resist the pressure to behave in ways that do not meet family standards.

       The best way parents can aid their children is by successfully discovering their true identity and growing up to be an emotionally mature adult is to take a flexible approach. Parents need not always rigidly follow and impose certain norms and values, which are imbued with their family tradition during their childhood, on their children. Understanding children from the way they see the reality is surely a far more rewarding experience.

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